What kind of counselor am I?
What I am not: the TV stereotype of shrink with note pad in the chair nodding head in disapproval and silence. Who I am: Someone who is going to engage with you, with curiosity and empathy. Most importantly, I want you to feel comfortable and safe, and we will go at your pace. My office is a judgement free room. And yes, I talk too. I draw from quite a few different therapy styles in order to match how you think and feel. For example, I’m not going to pressure you into trying meditation or other mindfulness based techniques if your brain really likes cognitive and concrete types of problem solving. I have also gotten feedback from clients that they like that I am direct and really engage in a meaningful way, verses in previous experiences where they just talked for an hour at the therapist, then given a useless handout and nothing really changed.
It is my priority to make sure you are getting what you need out of coming to counseling. How we define that will be very personal and specific to you and what brought you in to the office.
What all this means is, as a “person-centered” therapist- I don’t just try to cram all of your problems into a mold of one theory and solution I happen to really like. Have you ever had a friend recommend to you a book and say- “Read it-- It will CHANGE YOUR LIFE!” Only to pick it up and just not get it? I help you make sense of what is going on and find new meaning and solutions in a way that works for you.
I remember one time when I was younger, not returning to a counselor I had talked to because I was afraid he was going to “judge” me and/or “get mad” that I made a particular life decision in spite of him hinting previously that it would not be a good idea. I am not going to do that. (He probably wasn’t either, but I didn’t give him the chance!) So, even if we problem solve together and you don’t follow through- it doesn’t mean it’s not working. This is not school. This is not work. This is not your family. This is part of the beauty of the counseling relationship. You can always just bring yourself. Not who you think you need to be.
When you walk through the door to my office and sit (or even collapse) onto the couch- it should be a place where you can exhale.
And don't worry, it is ALSO absolutely normal to feel really nervous or skeptical your first few times.
That is part of what the Initial Consultation is for-- seeing what it’s like.
